let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
