Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
