its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you traded sex for a burrito?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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