I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
