Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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