im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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