That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
sex in a hospital.. check
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
