So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
