This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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