Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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