This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
