if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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