isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I fill condoms, not promises.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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