Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
