who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
