lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
