is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
