sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
