Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
