Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
either way he was missing a nipple.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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