I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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