Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
