I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
