we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
