put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
we're so committed to being not committed
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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