"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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