i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
