How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
