I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
