Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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