alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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