you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
