I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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