Do you still have your period?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
