At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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