and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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