She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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