Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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