My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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