Can Purell be used as lube?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
