Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
