I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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