yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
