can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
