I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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