Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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