Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize