U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
