he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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