She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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