Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
