Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
