It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
