It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
