i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
